Hi Internet World!! I am finally returned from wedding and honeymoon bliss. Both were, in every sense of the word, bliss. I will definitely share my feelings on traveling to Bali and being married as well. This post however, unfortunately, will be about the delicate balance of my body’s chemistry and the dangers of sugar.
During my honeymoon, I decided that I was feeling so good, I wanted to eat the sweets and things I enjoyed without worrying, and indulge I did. Was it worth it? In many senses of that word, yes it was. I enjoyed the heck out of my honeymoon. However, one week post return, I must report that I am still feeling the awful side effects of depression from my sugar indulgence. Upon returning, I decided to administer my lack of motivation and my devotion to sleeping 10+ hours to jet lag. However, after a few days of this and the napping in the middle of the day until dinner time and then sleeping right after dinner and sleeping in during the morning, it was a positive sign that my depression was back. I definitely worked out every day since my return (and even during some days of my trip), but I want to curl up into a ball and shut out the world.
Thankfully, I married the most understanding human in the world, who tries his best to understand this confusing duality that haunts my life. How I can go from waking up at 5 am, doing laundry mid week, and having bountiful energy to not being able to stay awake long enough to function beyond my work day. How I can go from wanting to talk to everyone to not wanting to leave the house to run simple chores. How I can go from being a positive and motivating person, to someone who only sees hell in a dark hole.
I share this because now I know that over-consuming processed sugar contributes a large share to my depression. It must somehow deplete me of my natural endorphins and set off triggers that normally wouldn’t bother me. Alcohol is also most definitely included in this equation, however my need to consume a sweet baked treat is a million times stronger than any need to consume alcohol. Sugar is a dangerous drug for me and leads me to this dark hole. I’m trying my best to ride this out and not let my cravings take over. I am holding onto dear life to get past this (hopefully short) lapse of depression. I could say, what a horrible way to start a marriage, but the sake of my husband is what is keeping me afloat to fight this off as quickly as I can.