A little over a year ago, I decided to drop my career in the hospitality industry to focus on my childhood dream of becoming a teacher. My vision a little over a year ago went something like this. I’ll go through 18 months of schooling that I will enjoy while trying to make connections with teachers. This will be easier than my life in the hospitality industry because I love school and learning. My family, friends, boyfriend, and strangers will be so amazed by my passion. This is what I will call, the Unicorn Plan. I assumed by the time I quit my old job, I would bounce back to my old self in no time and flourish like all of my unicorn friends.
Today, I sat on the floor of my new living room crying my eyes out. I have a little under 6 months of the program left and this is how my plan is feeling. I got rear ended by a wonderful human *sarcasm* last week. My car is totaled. I’m so broke from going into a career that is notorious for underpaying and I can’t decide whether or not I should buy or lease a car. I still give way too may *ahem* concerns about what my parents want me to do to feel like a real adult. I have assignments piling up, I have things to tidy at the place I just moved into with my *gasp* now fiancé. I am engaged (!) and want to be excited about planning a wedding, but also feeling terrified that I will not have a job next year. So, not feeling very unicorny right now. Luckily, I still have my 3 F’s (friends, family, and fiancé) feed me encouragement while tread this water as every stranger who walks by tells me that I’m going to drown.
However, the one thing that brings me here is this decluttering I have done before the move. Before my purchase of Marie Condo’s book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up… I had decluttered and tidied the F out of my things. Now I have the book and will have to see what tips she has to continue on my new obsession of becoming tidy AF. This is not a shameless book plug however, it’s just the journey that brought me to the realization that now I have the time to declutter my brain by doing what I love most. Writing. Not just any kind of writing- writing about my experiences, feelings, observations, and memories. And not just writing about them, throwing them into oblivion so others can
judge me find, share, and create perspectives.
Adulthood for me right now, is this paradox of successes, failures, and uncertainty. I hope to share with you (whatever audience that may entail) how I am navigating. And to those of you who think getting engaged is this adulthood final destination to allofyourdreamscomingtrue should probably just leave now. More on that topic next time…